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Tavis: I'm pleased to welcome Kate Winslet to this program. The talented actress is the youngest person in history to have four Oscar nominations, and I suspect another is on the way for her fine performance in 'Little Children.' You can also catch her now in the hit animated feature, 'Flushed Away,' and the upcoming Christmas movie, 'The Holiday.' Kate Winslet has been busy. First, though, (laugh) what should be part of the conversation come award season, here now, a scene from 'Little Children.'

Tavis: So the folk at home, Kate Winslet cannot see that to my left, there is normally a TV monitor (laugh) that plays here on the stage where people can see clips. So before we started, you asked that we turn the monitor either off or around.

Kate Winslet: (Laugh) Yeah.

Tavis: Because you did not wanna see yourself. (Laugh) So I take that to mean you don't like watching yourself?

Winslet: It's absolutely awful.

Tavis: You've got four Oscar nominations, Kate, four. (Laugh) And you don't like watching yourself?

Winslet: No, it's just horrible. You sort of go, oh, god, is that what I look like? I thought I looked completely different to that person. And is that what I sound like? Oh, god, the sound of my voice is so awful. No, I do, I have a very hard time watching myself. In fact, when I'm on a movie set, often the director will say, 'Just come with me and just look at the monitor for one second, I just want you to see this thing you're doing with the framing. I need you to be a little more to the left or to the right.'

And even that, sometimes if for technical reasons I have to watch something, I have to block my ears, because I just, I don't know what it is. It's just a very weird actor-y thing. (Laugh)

Tavis: Yeah. But since you went there, I wanna pursue this. How, then, do you - this is a fascinating point. How, then, do you judge, do you rate, do you critique your work? It must be internal, since you don't wanna see the external.

Winslet: Well, I do find it very hard to just sit and watch something that I'm in, and just sort of try and let myself get pulled in by the story, and forget about the fact that it's me. But it's just impossible at the end of the day to really do that. But I think I've gotten better in the last few years. I think actually probably since doing 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,' I've gotten a little bit better at just saying well, that was the choice I made on that particular day.

And that's why that line came out of my mouth in that way, in that moment. And I've tried not to sort of sit there and go, 'Oh, I could have done that differently. Oh, well, I wish I'd done this, or wish I' - 'cause there's just really no point at the end of the day. It's done, it's done. There's nothing you can do.

Tavis: I'm feeling you on this, 'cause I'm a tough self-critic, as well. But I suspect, respectfully, that if I had four Emmys or four Peabodys or four whatever they give for what I do, in your case Oscars, if I had four of those, I might be a little less hard on myself, and suggest, if not to other people, to myself, maybe I've learned a few things about how to do this well.

Winslet: Well, I think for a start, I don't actually have those things, I've just been nominated. It's fabulous being nominated and never winning. (Laugh)

Tavis: We're gonna change that, but go ahead, yeah.

Winslet: (Laugh) But listen, those nominations are something I'm incredibly proud of, and I really sort of can't believe that that has even happened in my life. It's just one of those extraordinary moments that you dream about as a child. You dream about the fancy and the vague, impossible possibility of that. And the fact that I have experienced going to the Academy Awards as a nominee is just remarkable to me, still, to this day.

But with acting, I never get to a point where I think okay, I know how to do this. And I'm so glad I don't think that, because actually, I'm sure in some way it would be fatal for me to think I know how to do it, I've got it all planned. 'Cause the truth is about acting, there is really no right or wrong way to do it. It's just about how the individual actor or actress feels in that one moment.

And what is truthful and honest to them, in terms of how they play that part. And you have to rely so much on your instincts and your confidence, too. I've always said I really think that acting is 50 percent skill and 50 percent confidence. As an actor, if you don't believe in yourself, and you don't have the courage to just go out there and do it, and do your thing the way you think it should be done, I think it shows if you don't have that courage. And it's difficult to find sometimes. It's really difficult to find.

Tavis: I wanna circle back to the movie 'Little Children' in just a second. Before we go there, though, to your point now, so your fans know that you're married to a fine director. Are these conversations the kind of things you talk about at home, about your work? Or do you stay away from that?

Winslet: I really wish I could say to you, 'Oh, Sam is such a great help to me. (Laugh) We have great conversations, we run scenes together.'

Tavis: We run lines together, yeah.

Winslet: And he tells me what to do. I so wish I could just say to you (laugh), 'Yeah, that's what happens.' But we just don't. And I think it's to do with the fact that I've always actually been quite private about my job. Not kind of keeping it from people, but I just don't actually talk about it very much. It's something that I just process internally, I think, almost without even realizing that I'm doing it that way round.

And it's been the same with kind of making choices and committing to each project. It's just something that I go, 'Yeah, okay, that absolutely gives me that fire.' I call it the fire in the belly. It's just an instinct, an impulse. And I don't sort of say to Sam or agents or even friends, 'Listen, I really love this script, will you read it for me and tell me whether you think it's a good idea?' I just do it by myself. And I think Sam just very much respects that as I do with him, as well. And he's quite similar in that way.

Tavis: How do you know, to your point now, Kate, what's right for you? And I ask that against a backdrop of the choices that you have made. You spoke a moment ago about choices. You've made such a variety of choices, very disparate, very different, very eclectic choices, which I think overall has to be good for the career, as evidenced by these four Academy Award nominations. But what's your process? How do you know what's right for you at any given point in time? And again, your choices are all over the map.

Winslet: Well, Tavis, the truth is, I don't have a kind of a game plan. I don't have one specific thing that I'm aiming for. Even as a child when I was five years old and I thought yeah, I'd love to be an actress, I didn't think, I want to be a movie star. I didn't think I want to be in films. The movie world and films was something that Judy Garland had been involved with, sort of in my brain.

I just assumed that it was gonna be really hard, I was gonna be lucky to get a job, and I would hopefully do lots of theater, and maybe I'd get the odd television part. And that was glamorous, getting an odd episode of something. That was a really big deal in my family, because I come from a family of actors. So now that I'm in this position where I can choose, I'm just incredibly grateful to be in that place.

Not only because it does mean that I have this privilege of being able to do a variety of difficult things, and try different things out as an actress. It's not just that, but also as a mother, I can choose to work and then not to work for sometimes a year. Actually, I'm in the middle of a year off right now. And I just am very, very grateful to be in that position. But it's just - I read something, and it's just fire in the belly. It's just< 'Okay, wow, I'd love to do that. I would really love to do that.'

Tavis: This, I suspect, and I try not to have conversations that are boring for the guest, 'cause I'm asking things they've been asked 20 million times before. But pardon me on this one question, I suspect it won't be the first time you've been asked this. Speaking of your children, your children have not been able to see all of the projects that Mommy has made.

Winslet: My children have seen nothing apart from 'Flushed Away.' (Laugh)

Tavis: I'm trying to be nice. Mommy is very comfortable with her body. (Laugh) And we...

Winslet: Listen, I am very aware of this fact. There's things that I've done in my life that (laugh) I actually kind of hope my children may never see.

Tavis: Yeah. (Laugh)

Winslet: But certainly not at least for another 15 to 20 years. Yeah, it's a funny old thing, that. Yeah. (Laugh) But 'Flushed Away,' I think I really sort of did that for them, in a way.

Tavis: They can see that, sure.

Winslet: Yeah, they've already seen it. My son completely thinks that there's a mouse in the toilet called Roddy.

Tavis: Yeah. (Laugh)

Winslet: And he talks down the lavatory to him. Roddy, don't you worry. My mummy is down there with her boat, and she is gonna rescue you. It's gonna be okay. Okay? Okay, Roddy? Can you hear me? (Laugh) It's so sweet. It's so sweet.

Tavis: Kate Winslet plays a sewer rat, and that doesn't really go together, Kate Winslet, sewer rat, but she does it very well.

Winslet: Some people would beg to differ that, but.

Tavis: Yeah. (Laugh) I'm not one, and hopefully, neither is Sam.

Winslet: No, he's one of the ones who would definitely beg to differ. (Laugh)

Tavis: That said, let me circle back to 'Little Children.' And I've been wanting to ask you this. This character you play, Sarah Pierce, I look at Sarah Pierce, I look at the other characters you've chosen to play in your career, and I wonder, given, again, the eclectic nature of your choices, whether or not you actually learn things from the characters that you play. 'Cause I can see a number of lessons coming out of the life of Sarah Pierce.

Winslet: I definitely do, and it's something that I don't realize, I think, that it's happening at the time. It's only when I walk away. And even now, just talking about 'Little Children' again, it's over a year since we made the film; I realize just how much I did take away from not only the experience, but also playing that woman. And it does happen. It very much depends on the role.

But I think also I'm possibly subconsciously drawn to characters that I in some way know I'm going to either have tremendous fun playing, or go through extreme amounts of pain playing. But certainly at the end of the day, walk away knowing something different about myself. And that's absolutely happened; it definitely happened with 'Little Children.'

Tavis: So Sarah Pierce was fun or pain, to your point?

Winslet: She was both. She was definitely both. I think it's the first time that I've ever played somebody who had incredible weakness as well as strength. More often than not, I've played a lot of very hot-headed, feisty, passionate individuals. And Sarah is all of those things. But she's emotionally numb, as well, at the beginning of this film

And she changes, transforms completely throughout the course of the story. She has qualities as a woman and as a parent that I, as just Kate, just a mum, Kate, that I don't actually respect. And I think if I knew her, if I really knew this woman, I would just have to give her a piece of my mind. And that was very new to me. Very, very new, to be forced to, well, not forced, but to embrace a woman and to sympathize with a woman whom I didn't like that much.

Because that as well, I think, is part of acting, too. You can't walk into something just thinking well, I don't like this character. I loved her, absolutely loved her, but in my own sort of quiet way, I had to come to understand why she does things she does, why she behaves the way she does with her child. She's a less than brilliant parent. Why is she married to the man she's married to?

He's completely wrong for her. Trying to just figure all of that out for myself in building the backstory for Sarah, which is something I would always do. But it was particularly important to have that back story, that sort of history within myself, just so that she was grounded and real, number one, but also so that I really understood who she was, who she had been, who she had aspired to be, and suddenly wasn't in leading this life, whereby she's living in a part of suburbia she never expected she'd even go and visit, let alone live there.

In a house she doesn't like, married to a man she doesn't love. And she suddenly has this child, and she has no job. This is not the life, I think, she had planned for herself. So the sense of isolation and desperation is really enormous in her.

Tavis: Let me offer this as an exit question, if I can. Are you comfortable with the trajectory of your career? Comfortable with the direction that it's moving in? Or, to bring this thing full circle, do you have to win one of these things to feel that your career is where you want it to be? I got my own answer, but I'm not Kate Winslet.

Winslet: (Laugh) I think the truth is, I just feel tremendously blessed to be invited back. To keep being asked to play some very, very interesting parts that have genuinely challenged me. So I don't, as I say; and I didn't have a sort of a plan. So I just do feel like as each year goes by, I just kind of go wow, what an amazing year that was, and what an interesting time I had playing that part.

But no, I certainly don't feel the need for, I think, confirmation or approval of what I do, in terms of being given big prizes, particularly. Those things are amazing, absolutely. But I've never sort of looked for that. And I think it's partly because I come from an amazing family of people who have always been very forthcoming with pats on the back and well done, girl.

You really did a good job. And also now, my husband, to be honest with you, it matters to me much more what he thinks, and what my mum and dad think, than any review or what anyone else may say. 'Cause I don't really know those people who write those pieces, and I don't read reviews, actually. But anyway. That was a kind of rambling way of trying to answer your question. (Laugh)

Tavis: I'm not your mother or your father, I'm clearly not Sam. So my opinion doesn't matter, but I think you're doing just fine.

Winslet: (Laugh) Thank you.

Tavis: And I'm honored to meet you.

Winslet: You too, thank you.

Tavis: Glad to have you, Kate Winslet.

Winslet: Thank you very much.

Tavis: 'Little Children,' starring Kate Winslet. I am certain another nomination (laugh) on the way. Here comes number five. That's our show for tonight. Catch me on the weekends on PRI, Public Radio International. Check your local listings. I'll see you back here next time on PBS. Until then, good night from L.A., thanks for watching, and as always, keep the faith.