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• Mo'Nique's official site
• Mo'Nique's F.A.T. Chance
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• Hair Show official site
• Profile of Mo'Nique

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Tavis: I'm delighted to welcome back to this program Mo'Nique. The talented comedienne-actress is back on the big screen this fall in the new film "Hair Show." The movie opens October 15. Here now a scene from "Hair Show."

Peaches: Gianni, that hairstyle's from 1962 when Gladys Knight was still with the Pips. A mess. Simone, Madam C.J. Walker invented the straightening comb. Use it. Tiffany, the grand prize is $50,000, not $5.00. That's a $5.00 basement hairstyle. Rework it. Jun Ni, keep doing feet.

Tavis: That was--

Mo'Nique: Jun Ni, there are no words for that girl. Just keep doing feet. That's a mess.

Tavis: How you been?

Mo'Nique: I have been absolutely wonderful, Tavis.

Tavis: You look wonderful.

Mo'Nique: Thank you, baby. OK.

Tavis: Before we get started, before you start talking, I just want to see for those who saw this--thank you, John. For those who saw the show the last time Mo'Nique was on, you will understand this. For those who didn't, ask somebody. Now, my first question. Do you still have it?

Mo'Nique: Watch.

Tavis: OK.

Both: Bam.

Mo'Nique: Bam, but I got a new one. I got a new move. Bam.

Tavis: Ohh!

Mo'Nique: That's bam. I'm working both.

Tavis: I feel like Pooty Tang. Shod-eye tay.

Mo'Nique: Whoo!

Tavis: Oh, the timmy-tie bout the webby-bemmy. Roddy-toddy-tay. Good.

Mo'Nique: Hold that right there. Mess up your whole speech. Hold it right there.

Tavis: Put it down. Put it down.

Mo'Nique: Mm-mm. I'm real comfortable here, Tav.

Tavis: I can't talk when you keep it up like that. Come on, put it--you're wasting TV time. There you go. 'Cause I can't talk when you do that through the whole show. You're working it left, right, right, left. Go on, girl. All right, so, is there anyone in your family funny other than you?

Mo'Nique: Yes. Actually, that--those are the funniest people to me. People say, who do you take after? My Aunt Bessie and my Uncle Whip. They created cussin'.

Tavis: I would say if you took after 'em, one of 'em must cuss.

Mo'Nique: Both of them, but they combined them. Like they use combo-cuss words. I'm, like, wow! You can put them 2 together? I didn't know those 2 went together.

Tavis: Combo-cussing.

Mo'Nique: Combo-cussing, baby. I love--and you know what, they're funny, but they don't run it funny. Like they just right off the--just beautiful. I know, one day, they were playing cards. I was maybe about 14 years old. Ok, so I'm really not supposed to be in there, but I was. And they were playing, I think, Spades or Pitty-Pat. They play for a quarter. OK, but it's like 7 of them around the table with my grandmother. So this friend was over the house. He kept saying, 'cause he wanted to come in with his cards. He said, "Can I come?" Can I come? Ma said, 'Ask your wife.' I'm, like, what does that mean? They just breeding.

Tavis: So this runs in the family.

Mo'Nique: Runs in the family.

Tavis: I always crack up--one of my P.A.s came to my dressing room before we came on the set. She said, oh, Mo'Nique is so funny. I said Mo'Nique is funny even when she ain't trying to be. Do you ever just work people's nerves, 'cause you don't ever stop?

Mo'Nique: Yeah. My mother, I'm sure. I'm sure I gave her some rough days. You know what, I just enjoy life, and everything to me is a good time. Nothing to me is a bad time. 'Cause my time could be ended very soon. We don't know. So every chance I get, I'm having a good time. Yeah.

Tavis: Speaking of having a good time, were you having a good time--you know, as many times as you and I've talked, I didn't know this. I had to do a little extra research. 'Cause every time you come on, I gotta find new tidbits to probe. Um, true that you worked for-- you were, not just worked, you were a supervisor at a phone sex line?

Mo'Nique: Yes, indeed.

Tavis: Before you became the Mo'Nique that we now know?

Mo'Nique: Yes. I was working on my acting skills. Tavis, you got to do everything. 'Cause I don't know when Spike may call me to do "Girl 7." He did "Girl 6." I gotta be prepared for that.

Tavis: But you were a supervisor. You weren't just working there.

Mo'Nique: I had to listen to the girls at home.

Tavis: That was your job. You were like quality control--

Mo'Nique: And let me tell you--

Tavis: On the phone sex line?

Mo'Nique: Yes. I was Q&A. OK, so here's the thing. Like your first week when you start working there, I'm gonna tell you something that when you listen to these calls, you're like wait a minute. Oh, Lord, Jesus, I got pregnant. Ha ha. I got pregnant with my younger son. I did, working at that job. Yes, indeed. Yes. It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun.

Tavis: So when people call those lines and the girl says that she's 6 feet tall and 118 and long, gorgeous red hair and--what do they really look like?

Mo'Nique: There was this one girl, and I cannot remember her real name, but she worked the lines. She made about between 60 and 65 grand a year. Because--

Tavis: What?

Mo'Nique: Her description was she was a redhead, 36-24-36, her description; she made herself beautiful. To see her in person, she was 5'1", about 400 pounds, with a short bush. Good for you, you actress. You deserve the Oscar. Yes, indeed.

Tavis: 64-65 grand a year?

Mo'Nique: Because they got requests. You get like so much money per request. She got requests all day long.

Tavis: OK. So, now, did you learn something from that helps you become the actress that you are now?

Mo'Nique: Did I learn something from--

Tavis: You learned from that experience working at the phone sex line?

Mo'Nique: Of course. Of course. You know, you learn different sounds and different, mm. See that right there?

Tavis: Yeah.

Mo'Nique: Mm, that's Oscar material right there. That's not funny, Tavis, right there. You see how I do it? Mm. Right there.

Tavis: There you go.

Mo'Nique: That's gonna win me my Oscar, Tavis. I promise you. Mm.

Tavis: I'm hearing you. Tell me about this movie "Hair Show."

Mo'Nique: "Hair Show."

Tavis: That clip was hilarious.

Mo'Nique: You know what? The movie is so much fun. And the climax of the movie is of course the hair show. But the movie is about 2 sisters that are separated from a miscommunication, you know, just one thought she was better. One thought one was scattered, just out there and loud. But when they come together and get to know each other, they dig each other. And they come together to win this hair show, which is the climax of the movie. But it's just about forgiving and trust and love. It's a good--you know how you leave a theater and say, I feel good. When you watch "Hair Show," you're gonna say, I feel good. And the hair is off the hook. There's one hairstyle, that's the Brooklyn Bridge, all hair.

Tavis: The hairstyle's called?

Mo'Nique: No. The hairstyle is.

Tavis: Oh, the hairstyle is...

Mo'Nique & Tavis: The Brooklyn Bridge.

Mo'Nique: With cars going across it. Figure it out. Yes, Tavis, that's what I'm saying.

Tavis: Oh, OK.

Mo'Nique: Yes. Yes.

Tavis: I got ya.

Mo'Nique: The Brooklyn Bridge.

Tavis: I got ya. Took me a minute there. OK.

Mo'Nique: With cars going across.

Tavis: I got you. I got you.

Mo'Nique: Only black people can be that creative in the world. Do you hear me?

Tavis: I'm with you.

Mo'Nique: You gonna put some hair on my head and tell me, go on. No, girl, I can't do that. No, ma'am. Yes.

Tavis: Speaking of which, what is it that white folk don't get about black women and hair? 'Cause the black woman and the hair thing, that's like a whole 'nother--

Mo'Nique: Mm-hmm. You know, I don't think it's that they don't get it. They get it because white women have their hair done, too. They're in the beauty salons as much as we are. It's just that the styles and the direction we go in may make you say, "Wait a minute." Dye your hair pink? But it look sharp. It's just the direction we go in. Is she bald-headed with one strand? But that's hot. How does she pull that off? It's just our direction. Because everybody says to me, well, you know, what's the difference between white women hair-black women? None.

Tavis: But I have never seen a white woman threatening to beat nobody down over touching her hair or messing with her hair.

Mo'Nique: I tell you what.

Tavis: I have never seen a white woman sleep, like standing up, 'cause she don't wanna mess up the 'do.

Mo'Nique: Call Bo Derek. The first time they put them cornrows in that girl's head, baby, I swear to God, she was fighting everybody. She was like this. "Oh, God, this is what they go through?" I'm gonna write them an apology letter. No. 'Cause I didn't know! My sisters, yes! So I don't think it's a difference.

Tavis: How does Mo'Nique decide, 'cause I've seen you wear a few 'dos--you always look nice...but I've seen you try a few things. How do you know, like, you do it by your moods, by month, by week? How do you decide what you want--?

Mo'Nique: I'll give you the real simple answer, and it's not even complicated. My hairstylist decides what I'm gonna look like. She doesn't listen to any of my advice. She puts on it whatever she wants. It's like, "I like this for you today."

Tavis: And that's it?

Mo'Nique: I'm easy. Yeah. I trust her. She's been doing hair since I was, what, 15, 16. So it's easy.

Tavis: You--you are blowing up. When I say blowing up I mean in the sense that you are--you've done the television thing, obviously very well, so congratulations on that. Y'all got 5 years out of that?

Mo'Nique: 5 years, baby.

Tavis: That's syndication money. I ain't mad at you.

Mo'Nique: We call those magic checks.

Tavis: Magic checks. I like that.

Mo'Nique: Because when you go to your mailbox--ooh! A little piece of magic.

Tavis: There you go. OK. I want one of those. Ha ha! So congrats on that. So you've done the TV thing, you've done the stand-up thing--still doing it. Now you're doing the movie thing. Um, you still like doing the stand-up thing?

Mo'Nique: I love doing the stand-up thing. The stand-up thing keeps me sharp for everything else. That's why I never understood comics who get into TV and movies and stop the road. The road keeps you sharp. See, TV and movies make a comic lazy, 'cause they can say, "Cut! Do it again. Cut! Do it again. Cut! Do it again."

Tavis: From my vantage point it also makes them less funny. I actually won't call no names, but when you stop doing the stand-up thing, I find that people get a little less funny.

Mo'Nique: Well, because not that we want to, it just happens like that because you don't have to be. You can say, "Cut! We can paste it together." You can do a lot of things. Stand-up world, it's in the moment, it's right there. They're letting you know if we buy it or if we don't. For me that's brilliant. I love that. Like, I will never stop the road. People think I'm crazy, like, "Why you still going to clubs?" "Baby, 'cause that's where I get it from."

Tavis: But TV pays, Mo'Nique.

Mo'Nique: TV pays, but let me tell you, the road ain't no punk. Mm-hmm.

Tavis: Yeah. Yeah.

Mo'Nique: You hear me going back to the sex line--mmm.

Tavis: Mmm. I heard that.

Mo'Nique: That's how it makes me feel. When I'm doing the road, mmm. Sometimes I go "Mmm-mmm." Yeah, that's it.

Tavis: What--what do you make of the fact that there aren't a lot of black female comedians who are household names? It's a very short list.

Mo'Nique: Mm-hmm. Well, you know what? Whose household are we talking about? What households are you speaking about? Because Sommore, everyone knows her in our community. So what households are we...you know, when we start doing that, it's almost like we devalue black people. Well, yeah, they know you, but the white people don't know you, you know? They don't know you in their households. OK. I mean, so when people ask me that question, whose households are we referring to?

Tavis: Are you cool with...let me ask you a personal question. Are you cool with that? Are you cool with the fact that if you never, ever got to be a "household name" in white America, you'd be happy with your success?

Mo'Nique: Tavis, I'm cool with Mo'Nique. See, I don't have to be cool in nobody's household but my own, 'cause I gotta look at me in the mirror. See, I don't have to look at you every morning. I have to look at my mother, my kids; I gotta look at me every single morning. So if I'm cool with me, I'm cool.

Tavis: But if you could look at me, you wouldn't have a problem with that, would you?

Mo'Nique: Mmm. You see, I go back to a Tavis "Mmm!" Right. We both got jobs. Right! That's the deal. I can roll over, "You going to work today? OK. Mmwah! See you later." Now if I roll over every morning, you right there, we got a problem. "Tavis, what's happening?"

Tavis: "You going to work or what?" Ha ha ha ha! Uh, speaking of going to work, I hear you putting out another book.

Mo'Nique: Yes.

Tavis: What are you working on now?

Mo'Nique: A cookbook. "No Damn Substitutes." Yeah, that's the title. "No Damn Substitutes." If it calls for butter, damn it, use butter. Yes. Can I-- OK, I have to just tell you where I'm putting this book out. But, and one hand doesn't know about the other, but I have to share this with you. So I go to the doctor's last week, and he says to me, "You ever thought about getting the surgery?" So I said, "What surgery?" He says, "You know, the bypass surgery." I said, "No, I'm OK." He says, "Well, you have the fat gene. And with the fat gene, you'll never be small." I said, "Wonderful, 'cause I have a fat checking account. It goes hand in hand. I'm OK with this fat gene. Don't you touch my damn fat gene. Don't you touch my fat gene."

Tavis: On a serious note, how do you respond to people, though, who say that Mo'Nique takes that, takes her size, and makes jokes out of it because you can. You can be funny with it. But the truth of the matter is they really want you to be healthy, and that ain't funny.

Mo'Nique: Well, here's the truth of the matter, I am healthy. The myth is people think that big people are all not healthy. That's a myth. I'm very healthy, I'm just a big woman. That's it. If I eat chicken all day every day, just for protein, guess what? I'll still be a big woman 'cause I'm eating a lot of that chicken. Ha ha ha ha ha! You know? You know, I mean, that's just such a huge myth. Like this woman who wrote to "Essence" and said, "Mo'Nique should be ashamed of herself. She's promoting people to be unhealthy." I said, "No. Really read the article and really listen to what I'm saying." I'm not promoting people to be unhealthy. I'm promoting people to be happy. There's a difference. Just be happy. Yes, get your workout in. Be healthy, but be happy. That's it.

Tavis: Speaking of "Essence," let me close on this note. Um, you are the spokesperson on the AIDs issue for "Essence" magazine. Saw the Vice Presidential debate the other night? Gwen Ifill, the sister, moderator from PBS, asked a question about AIDs, particularly African-American women, Dick Cheney didn't have a clue.

Mo'Nique: Well, that doesn't surprise me because he doesn't have a clue about a lot of things, so that didn't really throw me off. But for him to say, "I haven't heard of that," well, where in the hell have you been, Dick? Where have you been? 'Cause it's everywhere. It's really crushing us. Where have you been? So that lets me know, brother, I'm not important to you, 'cause you didn't take the time out to know that's the leading killer of me? So I'm not important. So on the day that we vote, guess what? I won't push the lever for you. Now y'all might go back and behind me and push it, but I won't because you don't even know about me. You're so concerned about another place? What about right here at home. What you gonna do about it? He said, "Uhh!" Like, what, you trying to block a tackle or something? "Uhh! Don't hit me." Gwen, good for you, sister.

Tavis: Yes, well, we know where she has been, we know where she is, and we know where she's gonna be on October 15. You can catch her at the movies in "Hair Show." Nice to see you.

Mo'Nique: Nice seeing you, Tavis. Mmm.

Tavis: All right, that's our show for tonight. As always, you can catch me on the radio on NPR. I'll see you back here next time on PBS. Until then, thanks for watching. Good night from L.A. And keep the faith. Give it to me one more time. Hit me one more time. One more time, one more time. Ooh!